7 Points on The Last Dance
Part II
“The Last Dance is a 2020 American sports documentary miniseries focusing on the 1997–98 Chicago Bulls. The series features film from a crew that had an all-access pass to the Bulls during the NBA season.”
Today’s a sad day. It’s the last two installments of The Last Dance on ESPN. Right after the premiere episodes on April 19, I wrote 7 Points about The Last Dance, Part I. Here’s Part II.
1.
Thank you, ESPN, for Making Sunday Great Again.
Sunday used to be the most depressing day of the week; heck, The Strokes’ new album features a song entitled, “Why Are Sundays So Depressing.” I was like, “Finally! Somebody gets what I mean.”
It’s tough to explain. You either understand this concept or you don’t. I don’t mean clinical depression but rather that the day can drain all of your energy, like visiting Burlington Coat Factory or watching old Juicy Fruit commercials. Depressing.
The modern-day equivalent is Sandals ads. They make me want to take my own life.
But then, Sundays gained a bit of a makeover. Brunch became a thing. Sunday night TV debuted. Sunday Funday blossomed. The Bangles were really ahead of their time.
This video is not depressing. It’s manic.
What does this have to do with Michael Jordan? Nothing, really. I’m just glad ESPN decided to drop these episodes on Sundays. And then to recap them afterwards… that’s how big this is. When’s the last time you saw the recap of a recap or the highlight reel of a highlight reel?
Pop culture commentator and former ESPN employee Bill Simmons is doing a pun on his amazing movie podcast, The Rewatchables, called The Rewatchabulls. In it, I learned the greatest sports documentary ever is apparently When We Were Kings.
Fast Fact: My Dad met Muhammad Ali at an airport!
Another two I’d recommend were on HBO: The Defiant Ones, which covers Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre (also featuring footage you simply cannot believe they have and kept), and Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals, which my wife showed me. Those two are so inextricably linked, when I wrote down a note in my iPhone to add it to this column, I typed “Larry magic,” and the phone auto-capitalized it to “Larry Magic.”
The ratings have blown away O.J.: Made in America, which I cannot believe only three million people watched. Guess that shows what a bubble in which each of us lives: it seemed everyone I know saw that. It’s so good my bud, Alok, and I stayed in one night in Vegas to watch it… for a second time.
I guess I’ve been wrapped up in MJ for so long that it still blows me away that a friend in the mid-nineties could not name the team for which he played. Not even that he played in Chicago. To this day, I consider that to be the craziest thing a person didn’t know. I didn’t know they made rocks that big that you could live under.
2.
Fast Fact: Michael Jordan can’t spin a basketball on his finger.
Neither could Kobe Bryant. Rest in Peace.
3.
Jordan said he feared that, after the world viewed The Last Dance, everybody would think he’s a dick. I don’t see it that way. I see a fierce competitor.
I think it’s because comedians are always trying to get to the truth. If the path is tough, then so be it. Maybe that’s why I think 6 Harsh Truths that Will Make You a Better Person is the best column I’ve ever read. Seriously. Ever. (Can’t believe more people didn’t read Cracked.com. What a site.)
I don’t find Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glen Ross abusive. I find it inspiring.
OK, maybe a li’l abusive.
I do value niceness in a person almost above all other qualities. But if you’re not nice and you can still provide value, then I’m all ears. Some of my idols are not known to be particularly nice people: Michael Jordan. Jack Nicholson. Chevy Chase. Larry David.
Leadership can be defined as “getting results through others.” Did Jordan need to be that pushy in practice? It’s tough to say. I don’t think the raw talent ability of his squads was as strong as some other historical teams. But because he forced them to be the best versions of themselves, they performed at that kind of a level.
Plus, I’m a trash talker. It’s a skill. And I admire people who can do it well.
Granted, he took it a bit far in his NBA Hall of Fame induction speech.
He reminds me of another Michael…
4.
Perhaps the nuttiest thing about MJ is that it’s conceivable he could’ve achieved even more. Had he not retired in 1993, he probably would’ve won in 1994 and 1995. Now, could he have won eight straight? That’s highly doubtful. I don’t even know if he could’ve won six championships had he stayed. He probably made the right move. But it’s possible.
You know who else they say this about? Another person who went to the very top of his field: Elvis Presley. He’s the King of Rock ’n Roll, but because his manager, Col. Tom Parker, was a tyrant who forced him into cheesy songs and even cheesier movies, it’s sad to think what else he could’ve done. I mean, in both cases… Michael Jordan and Elvis Presley: he really could’ve been somebody!
5.
In the ’90s, ESPN did a tongue-in-cheek comparison of the Chicago Bulls to the Beatles.
Phil Jackson = George Harrison
Michael Jordan = Paul McCartney
Scottie Pippen = John Lennon
Dennis Rodman = Ringo Starr
I can’t say it made a whole lot of sense but it was amusing to me since it compared two of my favorite things.
Two actual parallels are these:
a. The Beatles are the only popular musical act that reinvented itself twice. It’s not that unusual for an artist to have a first half and a second half. But most remakes are aesthetic: the music is still basically the same, just packaged differently. Or it’s slightly harder or softer. The Beatles went from an oldies band to a psychedelic band to a classic rock band. That simply doesn’t happen. There’s very little connection amongst “She Loves You” and “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “Helter Skelter.”
MJ went from driving to the basket to the master of the fadeaway jumper. And I guess you could say he did have a third act, since he finally retired with the Washington Wizards. Can’t say that’s as impressive as Abbey Road, though.
b. After bassist Stuart Sutcliffe died of a brain hemorrhage and John & Paul, in a fit of jealousy, kicked out Pete Best, the Beatles started recording albums. It was the same lineup from 1962 through 1969. Similarly, Jordan won all six of his titles with one team. What a quaint era.
And sure, Ivan Vaughan introduced Paul and John in 1957, and Let It Be was released in 1970 (though it was recorded as their penultimate album), but because the Beatles broke up in December 1969, they were entirely contained within the ’60s the way the Bulls were entirely contained in the ’90s.
c. The entire premise of The Last Dance is that they knew it was gonna be the end. It’s literally why it has that title. That’s exceedingly rare. The Beatles were all but broken up when Paul and John rang each other up and said, “Let’s do one more album.” That became possibly their best and one of the greatest in history, Abbey Road.
“I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean, I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don’t care if it’s a sad good-bye or a bad good-bye, but when I leave a place I like to know I’m leaving it. If you don’t, you feel even worse.”
- The Catcher in the Rye (my favorite book)
6.
Make Dennis Rodman America’s Mascot.
Then you know we’ll rebound.
I’m a partier. I often need to go out the night before something big and almost always the night of a show. Starting in the ’90s, I took my inspiration (or at least my excuse) from what they said about Dennis Rodman. If he got a good night’s sleep, he was done for. You just had to let him go out all night and cruise into practice on fumes. I’ve always loved that.
Btw, it’s hilarious how they’ll try to do an episode about Rodman or The One About Scottie Pippen. But it still ends up being mostly about Jordan. “Did you see the Phil Jackson episode?” “Oh, you mean Jordan Part IV?”
7.
Fast Fact: Comedian Rajiv Satyal credits Michael Jordan for one of his biggest comedic influences.
“I’d never actually sat down to watch an entire episode of Saturday Night Live until September 28, 1991, when Jordan hosted it. I found it hilarious and watched almost every episode the rest of the decade. Indeed, most of my adolescence was shaped by SNL sketches and quotes. I can thank Jordan for that.”
- Rajiv Satyal
And yes, I just quoted myself in my own article. Michael would be proud.
Rajiv Satyal is a standup comic. He resides in Los Angeles and can’t spin a basketball on his finger either.