Frequently Asked Questions
These are the questions I receive the most often. So, to make everyone’s lives easier, I’ll answer ’em here.
These are the questions I receive the most often. So, to make everyone’s lives easier, I’ll answer ’em here.
How did you get started?
My brother, Rakesh, found an article in the local paper, mentioning The Funniest Person in Cincinnati Contest. I’d never considered doing standup but had been writing down a bunch of funny stuff over the years. I decided to enter the contest. A few days before I was to perform for the first time, I ended up doing my set for then-World №1 tennis player Pete Sampras. I made it to the semifinals (of the comedy contest, not the tennis tournament) and the next year I won it. I was in the mix.
How was your first time onstage?
I killed. That’s pretty common, actually — to do really well your first time out. It may be beginner’s luck or not really processing how scary it can be. I had about 60 of my closest friends attend the contest at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, Ohio, and I just had a ball. The second time, I bombed. My Mom put her arm around my shoulder and said, “Rajiv, we wanted to laugh at your jokes, but they just weren’t funny.”
When did you know you wanted to be a professional?
2006 is the short answer. The longer answer is that there are two definitions of “professional” to me: 1.) that you make money doing it and 2.) that you make your money doing it. I got my first paid gig back in 2002. I went full-time in October 2006. Almost all of my friends knew before I did that I’d end up with it as a career.
How are you different?
I’m the only comic of which I can think that is all three of these things: clean, personal, and Indian. Being Indian automatically sets you apart from most comics. There are only a few of us who work clean. And then finally, my material is autobiographical and I interact a lot with the crowd. Many people tell me they feel like they know me after I’m finished. There’s a “real” quality about me that isn’t present with many comics — clean or Indian or otherwise.
Doing Crowd Work on My Birthday — 7 March 2020. Ignite Asha charity gala. Downers Grove, IL.
Have you “made it”?
To me, there are four levels of making it:
You work in the industry in which you want to work.
You have your dream job within that industry.
You accomplish a BHAG (big, hairy, audacious goal).
You make a lasting difference.
#4 is the ultimate goal: To leave the world with something — a new way of looking at things. Andy Warhol did that with his “15 minutes of fame” thing. And the great comedians do this. I’ve achieved #1 (I’ve been working as a professional comedian since October 2006) and, wildly enough, I must humbly state #4 (due to I AM INDIAN). So, I live in this weird middle ground of trying to chase down #2 and #3. I want to be a talk show host — TV or web. That’d accomplish #2. I have done that, to an extent, with What Do You Bring to the Table? But I’d love a wider audience. For #3: I want to host the Oscars. Nothing to me would say, “I made it” like that. I’ve long held an appreciation for American cinema and have watched the Oscars since the early 1980s. Beyond that, to me, the Academy Awards represent “the top.”
On-Set for the I AM INDIAN Shoot. Downtown LA. June 2014.
Who are your influences?
I don’t really have comedic influences in the traditional sense. I didn’t grow up watching or listening to much standup so nobody’s voice flowed through me as I’ve developed. Rather pretentiously, I’d say I was more influenced by clever quotes from historical figures, people who could manipulate the English language in a funny way, namely Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, Mahatma Gandhi, and Albert Einstein. Told you it was pretentious.
The Catcher in The Rye is my favorite book and the character in literature with whom I most closely identify — even still — is Holden Caulfield, so I gotta give a shout-out to my man, J.D. Salinger.
Among comics, oldest to newest, I’d list: Woody Allen, George Carlin, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Kevin Nealon, Ellen DeGeneres, Bill Maher, Louis C.K. (I know, I know), Ricky Gervais, and Bill Burr.
With Dave Chappelle at the Hollywood Laugh Factory. Circa 2007.
You live in LA. Which famous people have you seen?
I’ve seen Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Bill Murray, Drew Barrymore, Seth Rogen, Louis C.K., Andrew Dice Clay, Cameron Diaz, and Arsenio Hall.
I’ve interacted briefly with Michael Jordan, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, Jay Leno, Steve Carell, Conan O’Brien, David Spade, Bob Saget, Jerry Springer, Dane Cook, Judd Apatow, Sarah Silverman, Russell Brand, Katy Perry, Jim Gaffigan, Aziz Ansari, Eric Idle, Jon Lovitz, Jon Cryer, and Catherine O’Hara.
I’ve interacted meaningfully with Dave Chappelle, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Deepika Padukone, Anupam Kher, Eva Longoria, Deepak Chopra, Ben Kingsley, Kal Penn, Brad Paisley, John Favreau, Garry Shandling, Demi Lovato, Ludacris, Cheryl Hines, (MC) Hammer, Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, William H. Macy, Norm MacDonald, Daniel Tosh, Kimberly Williams, Aasif Mandvi, Seth Godin, Maz Jobrani, Joe Torre, Dimebag Darrell, Fran Drescher, Ayushmann Khurrana, and Preity Zinta.
And I’m lucky to be friends with Kevin Nealon and Russell Peters.
Have you ever bombed?
Yes. Every professional comic has.
Who’s your favorite comedian?
Current: Bill Burr. All-time: Chris Rock.
What do your parents think?
They’re both supporters and believers. Supporters almost have to support you because of their position — parent, wife, friend, et al. But belief is something that happens in their eyes as they see you doing it. They started out supporters, for which I’m eternally grateful, and then became believers, because I’m amazing. Ha.
Why should I hire you?
Headlining the Fitton Center of the Arts in my birthplace of Hamilton, OH, in May 2019.
What advice do you have for aspiring comedians?
Work on just being at-home up there. Jay Leno said it best: the reason he performs so often is that he already spends 23 hours of each day offstage; he wants to feel as comfortable onstage as off-.
Make people laugh.
Aspire to actually say something.
And finally… you’re a crazy movie quoter. What are your favorites?
Great question, Rajiv. This is the list of the movies I quote the most. Not saying they’re necessarily the greatest, though some of them are (bold ones nominated for Best Picture). Just the ones to which I keep returning year after year… the ones that shaped who I am. Here goes.
Get Out (2017)
Moneyball (2011)
The Social Network (2010)
Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
The Dark Knight (2008)
No Country for Old Men (2007)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
The Departed (2006)
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Thank You for Smoking (2005)
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Sideways (2004)
Mean Girls (2004)
Old School (2003)
The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King (2003)
The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring (2001)
American Beauty (1999)
Office Space (1999)
American Pie (1999)
Fight Club (1999)
Life Is Beautiful (1998)
Good Will Hunting (1997)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
The Full Monty (1997)
As Good As It Gets (1997)
Fargo (1996)
Swingers (1996)
Waiting for Guffman (1996)
Braveheart (1995)
Tommy Boy (1995)
Se7en (1995)
Clueless (1995)
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Quiz Show (1994)
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Maverick (1994)
Schindler’s List (1993)
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
A Bronx Tale (1993)
A Few Good Men (1992)
Scent of a Woman (1992)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Silence of The Lambs (1991)
Father of The Bride (1991)
Goodfellas (1990)
Dead Poets Society (1989)
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989)
Major League (1989)
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Rain Man (1988)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Stand by Me (1988)
Big (1988)
Die Hard (1988)
Coming to America (1988)
The Naked Gun: From The Files of Police Squad! (1988)
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Spaceballs (1987)
¡The Three Amigos! (1986)
Back to The Future (1985)
Fletch (1985)
Clue (1985)
The Goonies (1985)
The Breakfast Club (1985)
National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985)
Ghostbusters (1984)
National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)
Superman II (1980)
Airplane! (1980)
The Blues Brothers (1980)
Caddyshack (1980)
Ordinary People (1980)
The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie (1979)
Annie Hall (1977)
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
The Godfather Part II (1974)
The Godfather (1972)
The Bridge on The River Kwai (1957)
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Casablanca (1943)
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Emceeing and Delivering the Keynote Speech on Personal Branding in Warsaw, Poland, on 5 February 2020.
Rajiv Satyal is a standup comic. He resides in Los Angeles. Updated 25 March 2020.