The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. 199
April 2023: Nowhere Man
Welcome
Welcome to The Funny Indian Newsletter! I normally send out one email per month, but you’ll receive another one next month about that one crazy time I hosted a game show.
Musings
Accentuate
Being optimistic is like believing in God. Nobody knows. Nobody's gonna know.
Are things gonna be better or worse tomorrow? Impossible to predict.
But one thing studies have consistently shown is that people who believe in some kind of higher power are happier. And that optimists are happier than pessimists.
So, in the absence of certainty... despite everything, despite the shootings, despite the division, despite our own thoughts... maybe just choose hope?
Verisimilitude
There's really only one thing that a couple has to agree upon. It isn't religion. It isn't whether to send your kids to private or public school. It's supporting when the other person thinks somebody looks like somebody else.
This past Sunday, at the mall, I pointed out a man and said to Harsha, "That guy looks like a cross between Adrien Brody and Jon Stewart." She couldn't agree more: "Oh, my gosh. He does!"
And whether or not she did really concur*, the fact that she wasn't like, "No, he doesn't!" means our relationship can continue.
Updates
See
Future:
05/05: Levity Live Oxnard with Russell Peters (Oxnard, CA) - 9:15 PM show only
05/06: Levity Live Oxnard with Russell Peters (Oxnard, CA) - 8:30 PM show only
05/12: Dry Bar Comedy Special Taping (Provo, UT)
06/01: Rajiv Satyal: Comic-On (Virtual) (pic)
Past:
04/06: Comedy & Magic Club (Hermosa Beach, CA)
04/22: The Standup Comedy Club (Bellflower, CA)
04/27: Rajiv Satyal Live from Nowhere (Virtual)*
*Wow... can't thank everyone enough for all your support last night! I had such a blast, I ended up doing 85 minutes of standup. I felt (over?)prepared for last night and now feel confident rolling into my Dry Bar Comedy special taping next month. So great to see so many of your smiling faces. The great Nowhere Comedy team (Ben, David, Michael, Mike, and Amanda, who did a nice job opening for me) was so happy with ticket sales and everyone's engagement that we've set up another show for Thursday, June 1. That one will be a trivia and games night, with prizes.
Special thanks to my family, especially Lalita & Vinay Satyal, for their enormous efforts in getting folks to tune in... and of course my wife's side, who also showed up in solid numbers from around the world. And a very special thanks to Ben Gleib, the funny and talented comic whose studio we used to shoot and broadcast. Ben got hit with the worst news a few short days ago. As he shared on his Facebook page, he lost his father, to whom he was extremely close. His eulogy is beautiful; how he was able to pull it together to support me shows how much he's carrying his Dad's torch of kindness and humor.
Enjoy these pics. And if you bought a ticket, we'll be sharing the video for your viewing pleasure soon. 85 minutes? You can decide whether to watch my show or a Bollywood movie.
Watch
MARISA TOMEI, HASAN MINHAJ, MALALA YOUSAFZAI...
During lunch, dinner, or your next cup of coffee/chai, take 8 minutes and watch my hosting highlights on YouTube or on Facebook. Thanks for all your support over the years!
Watch
Check out the latest from @GandhiTellsJokes on Instagram, on TikTok, and on YouTube Shorts. I also post them to my existing @funnyindian Instagram account.
Like
SEXUAL CARAMEL
What a magical (and comedic) night at The Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. Finally met one of my idols. Not only shared a stage with the great Arsenio Hall but also had a full-on conversation backstage. The thrill won't allow me to remember it verbatim, but I'll try to reconstruct it. All the comics piggybacked so one brought up the next (no MC though the booker had me wrap it up with an onstage outro). I brought up Retha Jones, who was also waiting for a photo with Hall, who had just told the crowd about how he grew up in Cleveland.
Me: "You gonna let a Bengals fan take a pic of you?"
Arsenio: "I went to the Super Bowl. I felt so bad for y'all."
Me: "I did, too – without telling my wife. That's a whole 'nother story."
Arsenio: "Oooh..."
He and I then discussed trash-talking with your hands, from the NCAA Women's Basketball Final (the John Cena "you can't see me" sign thrown from LSU's Reese to Iowa's Clark) to Aaron Donald's ring point after he sacked Joe Burrow. Dude couldn't have been nicer. Epic evening.
Like
MUG SHOT
Early last Friday morning, I threw on this inside-out Champion sweatshirt I've had since college. With its ripped sleeves and paint stains, it very much looks like I've had it since the '90s. Just as I was about to head out on my hour-long walk through the nabe, I changed into my Ben Sherman zip-up. This is LA: you never know who you'll run into.
I was speedwalking down Burbank Blvd. and came upon The Ugly Mug, where our neighbors (nabers?) who came over yesterday recently saw comedian Bill Burr grabbing coffee. Without realizing it, I walked right through a TV shoot. I was already halfway through what would've been the shot — the cameras hadn't started rolling, which was why nobody was mad — when I saw comedian Sebastian Maniscalco standing outside the store next to the coffee shop.
I posted up just far enough outside the Director's area to watch several takes of what will end up being a scene in HBO Max's upcoming Chuck Lorre comedy, "How to Be a Bookie."
Despite the four police officers as security, I was somehow able to follow Sebastian and the lead actress into the coffee shop that was being used as their trailer.
Sebastian gave me the biggest greeting and hug. We hadn't seen each other in at least five years.
We got to know each other at The Laugh Factory, where I thought he was one of the funniest acts I'd ever seen. (Indeed, his one-minute Ross Dress for Less bit might still be my favorite short bit*.) He granted me opportunities to open for him here in LA, in his hometown of Chicago (Zanies), and in New York, where I did a feature weekend with him at The Metropolitan Room and Gotham Comedy Club. Later, I hired him for my business, Standpoint Agency, which books comedians to help marketers generate insights. We ended up hanging out in Cincinnati and in New York. I still remember driving him around Blue Ash when he asked if there were any restaurants still open.
Me: "There are some Taco Bells but they're not exactly ubiquitous."
Sebastian: "Ubi-what? Who talks like that?"
He delivered that line in his full-on stage persona, which I highly recommend you check out in any of his five comedy specials, most of which are on Netflix.
Since then, he's gone on to sell out Madison Square Garden multiple times, as well as act in Oscar-level films like Green Book and The Irishman, alongside Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, and Robert De Niro.
We chatted for a few (he somehow knew I was now a Dad!) when I told him I can't believe I never got a pic with him. The lovely production designer hopped in and snapped it. I was so glad that he was still the same guy I'd always known. Dude is leaps and bounds beyond most of us, but per a song title from his fellow Chicagoan Kanye West, he still made me feel like a Champion.
Like
"HUMOR IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF CONSCIOUSNESS"
Those were the words spoken to me by Brahmaviharidas Swami. What an honor to chat with one of the main speakers at the AAHOA Convention here in LA, the others being Sadhguru and Hasan Minhaj. Thank you, Himanshu Brahmbhatt, for getting me to the front of the line (literally) for an indelible experience. (Hasan not pictured; you've seen enough of the two of us together.) It was not easy to get in to sit with Swami and the other members of his crew. I don't think they call it a crew, but I hugely appreciate it.
Ask
If you use a razor to shave your face, what's your detailed process*?
[Click here for some great answers on Facebook.]
Laugh
Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events.
5. It’s just funny seeing that word spelled out.
4. That’s Bull.
3. The word has always bugged me.
2. “I’ll serve your ass like John McEnroe.”
1. Best comment? “I’m not sure how I will explain my music taste.”
Close
THANK YOU to all of you for your support. You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you. Apologies this one was too long for email. It’s usually close but this one wasn’t. Peace.