The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. 201
June 2023: Two Many
Welcome
Welcome to The Funny Indian Newsletter!
My apologies for two newsletters in a week. Like a blue moon, it’s pretty rare. But it’s exciting times ’round these here parts.
Today is the last day to use “Newsletter” for the lowest price to see me headline The Bourbon Room in Hollywood on Thursday, July 27.
Go to BuyRajiv.com now!
Musings
Is There Anybody Out There?
OK, I don't know if this is gonna make any sense, but ever since the pandemic, I often have no idea what people are talking about.
And just to head any marriage jokes off at the pass, I don't mean my wife. I mean people I meet outside the house.
I'll be in a conversation with someone, staring really hard at their face, and I just can't process what they're saying. I'm not on my phone. I'm not looking around. I'm paying as much attention as I possibly can, but I feel this massive disconnect with just about everyone. I suppose that's to be expected after quarantining for so long (even if it's been a while).
But I'm a social beast. I'm good in every single group or 1:1 situation. I always know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it*. So, if I'M struggling with this, I assume a lot of other people are, too.
Unless my perception is completely off and I have no self-awareness at all, which may be true, since I did say that this might not make any sense.
Anyone? Bueller?
Quick Hits
Key takeaway from the indictment pics? How much nicer our bathroom is than Trump's.
Lab-grown meat looked promising until Big Religion got involved. The Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and Christians are ensuring scientists can take cells only from kosher, halal, upper-caste chickens no later than the first trimester.
As a tribute to Cincinnati's baseball team moving its game to 5 PM, Taylor Swift should play her entire RED Album. And this is a joke a 47-year-old man shouldn't be able to make.
I really don't understand this concept of celebrating 50 years of hip-hop in 2023. I understand the story: DJ Cool Herc hopped on the 1s and 2s in New York and developed a break beat. This happened 11 August 1973, so yes, I get the concept that it's been half a century. But ain't nobody bumpin' rap in the mid-70s. Sure, it existed, but it was all underground. [Click to read more.]
Updates
See
Future:
07/08: Private Gig (Los Angeles, CA)
07/27: Rajiv Satyal at The Bourbon Room (Hollywood, CA) (pic)
Past:
06/08: Comedy Chateau (N. Hollywood, CA)
06/29: Rajiv Satyal: Comic-On (Virtual) Congrats to Grand Prize Winners Krista & Jess, Runner-Up Paraag, and finalists Vinay & Lalita! ;)
Watch
Shout-out to 35 of my closest friends for this 90-second promo video for 7/27.
Watch
I had a LOT to say about the Titanic submersible.
Watch
Check out the latest from @GandhiTellsJokes on Instagram, on TikTok, and on YouTube Shorts.
Like
Like
Like
Like
Ask
Movies better than the book. Go.
I actually think there are lots. The Godfather I & II. The Silence of the Lambs. Fight Club. Misery (barely but Bates is too good).
[Click here for some great answers on Facebook.]
Ask
Musicians that are better live. Go.
[Click here for some great answers on Facebook.]
Ask
Serious question about a funny topic. Mostly for comedians, but very much open to other creatives, and in fact, anyone. I just received the first cut of my Dry Bar comedy special. I'm very happy with it and can't wait to share it once they post it (TBD). One of the biggest laugh lines + applause breaks was this joke. (I'm actually not worried about the content of it. I tested it when I did my long Zoom set for some of y'all over Nowhere Comedy. Though my brother isn't trans, he is gay and a strong trans ally and said it was a keeper.)
"We did our birth classes online in a Zoom. And because this was LA, people all signed in and wrote down not only their full names but also their pronouns. That's cool; I support that. Like She/Her or He/Him. I'm down with it, but sometimes I like to mess with people. So I changed my entire name to Michael Jackson. Just so I could make my pronouns HEE-HEE."
Last week, I told that joke at a party to a couple I didn't know, and while they laughed, he immediately pointed out that he'd seen that joke as a meme*. I just had another comic tell me the same thing.
This is a fairly common issue in our field. What should I do?
A. Keep it. Hell, Newton & Leibniz co-invented CALCULUS, so if two people can do that, audiences are sophisticated enough to believe you also came up with this joke.
B. Keep it. It's pretty amazing you came up with a joke that became a meme.
C. Cut it. It's pretty lame you came up with a joke that became a meme.
D. Cut it. If you have that many laughs & claps, you run the risk of people thinking you stole it, even though you didn't. After all, audiences are stupid.
E. Cut it. Though everyone has laughed so far, you run the risk of offending the queer community and any allies as standards change in ways you cannot predict.
F. Cut it for some other reason.
G. Keep it for some other reason.
If this has happened to you, what have YOU done?
Would love your votes + thoughts... thanks!
[Click here for some great answers on Facebook.]
Laugh
Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events.
5. I love a good Romancing the Stone joke.
4. Gen X Represent.
3. I resent this as an older sibling but I gotta give props to that move.
2. Nobody will replace Winnebago Man but we do what we can. I’d never heard this and it came up at a Dad Hang. I’m so hip. But hey, it’s Fathers’ Day Month.
1. The fact that he puts it back. Criminal mastermind.
Close
THANK YOU to all of you for your support. You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you.
Love,
- Rajiv