The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. 209
February 2024: Leap
Welcome
Welcome to The Funny Indian Newsletter!
Two big announcements before we dive in… my Dry Bar Comedy special is out and I’ll be screening the standup special (that I shot in LA+Cincinnati) in New York City on Thursday, 5/9!
Standup Comedy Special Screening — New York City
Tickets are officially on-sale as of… NOW! Y’all are the first to know. Get the early bird special if you purchase before the end of March. Use “IGot5OnIt” for $5 off.
Dry Bar Comedy
Huge milestone as this marks the first time the Industry* has financed one of my solo standup projects. Yep, I headlined the Indian Invasion Comedy DVD back in 2007, receiving tens of millions of YouTube views early in my career. Since then, though, I've enjoyed self-releasing specials in 2012, 2013, 2017, and... was about to put one out in 2020, but alas. And yes, we're still editing the one I shot in LA and Cincinnati last year.
* Dry Bar Comedy has 8.3 million Facebook followers and 2.5 million YouTube subscribers, so it was an absolute honor when it booked me and flew me out to Provo, Utah, to record a 30-min special.
Dry Bar is amazing. I love a dirty joke as much as the next guy, but with kids, it's nice to pull up videos and it doesn't matter if my 2-year-old walks in.
Eventually, my full special will appear on YouTube, but for now: if you use promo code RAJIVSATYAL, YOU'LL get a FREE month. And more importantly, I'LL receive a portion of that.
F'real, though, I know this is the age of multiple subscriptions. That said, Dry Bar puts out quality content and you can cancel anytime. But don't. You'll like it.
If you wanna do something totally FREE: the studio makes decisions about how hard to promote comedians’ stuff based on feedback. It’d be a huge help if you can love, comment on, and share their posts. (I’ll take any love you wanna give but it’s far more effective if you don’t make it clear you know me. “This dude is hilarious!” is better than “Go, Rajiv!”) They are two different clips so enjoy ’em both: Facebook. YouTube.
Why is my special called "Short Notice"? Since I moved out to LA, I’ve envisioned my first special with that title. It just sounds like a comedy title. And now it is. Enjoy.
Musings
The Greatest Night in Pop
Massive thumbs-down to any posts trashing We Are The World.
The new Netflix documentary, The Greatest Night in Pop, is incredible.
Is the song cheesy? Of course. Two reasons:
1. Sentimentality was one of the major threads of the 1980s. Irony was in short supply. (It was more a time of Air Supply.)
2. From a technical standpoint, any song that features such a range of voices needs to contain chords generic enough for the musicians to put their unique spin on it.
But it was hella effective, raising millions to fight poverty. Sure, we see an assembly of that kind of star power a few times a year at the awards shows. However, it's mind-blowing to watch some of the biggest celebrities on Earth (including THE biggest, MJ) work on their craft out in the open like that.
Is the production dated? Of course. It's from 1985. But until your generation does something that big to heal the world, don't dump all over one of the pop culture highlights of my childhood.
Updates
See
Future:
03/01: The Joker’s Wild — Parkwest Bicycle Casino (LA, CA)
03/06: The Ice House (Pasadena, CA)
03/08: The She-Suite Summit (Virtual)
04/20: Bollywood! at the Fitton Center (Hamilton, OH)
Super excited to come home to my birthplace to MC this Bollywood program my Mom is organizing! It’s a family affair. Of course, Brown people know all about Bollywood. The uniqueness of this event is it’s meant to be an introduction for everyone (from Black to White) who’s ever wanted to know more about Bollywood. (The Bo-Curious?) Tickets WILL sell out. Get yours today!
05/09: Standup Comedy Special Screening (New York, NY)
Past:
02/01: Thrive State Summit (Virtual)
02/02: Emerson College (Hollywood, CA)
Watch
Here’s the opening clip of my Dry Bar Comedy special…
Listen
Isaac Saul returns to The TanGent Show after a ton more well-deserved success for his platform, Tangle, which has grown to nearly 100K subscribers in the last few months. Much of that growth was driven by his post about the current Middle East crisis, which got about 14 million views in a few days.
What is Tangle? Four times a week, Isaac takes a political issue, tells you what the Left is saying, what the Right is saying, and then provides his take. Because he also gives a rundown of quick hits from across the political world, it's become my one-stop shop for all things politics.
Because we both felt we had more "meat on the bone" after Ep. 3, we dove into the best ideas to fix the divide in this country, whether Jan 6th was truly an Insurrection, why America may still be a force for good in this world, and a fascinating "What If..." Enjoy.
Listen at TheTanGentShow.com.
Read
I released two Gruntled newsletters. Touched how much they’re resonating. Not so much in the comments and likes — that’s OK for now — but your messages. Here’s the February one…
Ask
Help me decide. My Macbook Air is 5 years old. It’ll cost $300 to fix. A new one is $1100. Let’s assume I’d probably buy a new one in 2 years either way. Do I fix it or buy new? This is just simple math, right? Any other factors to take into account? The new ones are supposed to come out in March or April. But I need one earlier than that. Thanks!
[Click here for some good answers on Facebook… so good that I followed Elizabeth’s lead and bought a 2020 M1 with Apple Care and Costco’s 90-day return policy, out the door for $980.]
Ask
WHERE MY SYSTEMS PEOPLE AT?
I'm looking to implement an incentive system. The objective is to reduce my alcohol consumption for the year. (Yes, because I'm a quitter.) And even if you don’t drink, assume this is for any behavior you want to decrease or increase.
I'm easily sailing through Dry January but kinda wanna see how deep I can go into 2024. I love streaks (and streaking, which this prevents*), but the overall goal is the fewest # of drinks I can consume by Dec 31.
Theoretically, that answer is 0. But let's be realistic. How would you set this up? The sub-goal is to ensure I don't drink more than 4 drinks in any one night.
Here's what I'm thinking... and yes, this is a bit complex, but by now, you know this is the place you come to overthink something. Let's say I go the entire year without drinking. That'd be amazing. So amazing that I'd be willing to give myself $12,000.
(Don't worry where that money will come from. (At some point, I’ll let my wife know.) Some of it would indeed come from saving money from not drinking.)
Let's say that I think it's reasonable to make exceptions for big occasions (friend's 50th in Vegas next month... my birthday... my 30th high school reunion...). Let's say that comes to one night a month, so 12 nights total for the year. Let's call that 60 drinks. At face value, that would be an incredible feat, given last year, I probably drank 450 drinks. In any case, though, let's say each drink "costs" me $200. So, for every drink I drink, I subtract $200 from the $12K. That’s a pretty serious disincentive to drink. That way, if I drink 60 drinks, I get nothing. If I go more than 60, well, then... I don't know. That's the system I'm thinking of using.
An alternative system would be much simpler: for every two weeks without drinking, I gift myself a 1-hour massage that Friday, which costs $80. The difference is that pays off all year instead of waiting till the end.
Of course, I wouldn’t do both. One or the other. Or another, if you think of one. Thoughts? Besides, “Dude, after reading all that, I need a drink.”
[Click here for some good answers on Facebook… and we’re two months into 2024 and I’ve drunk only one night — Saturday, 2/17, for my friend’s 50th.]
Laugh
Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events.
5. Not hilarious but fascinating… and depressing.
4. My friend, Jim, was actually at this game in Dayton. It didn’t quite… fly.
3. Ironically, 70+% of Americans are asking WHY it’s Biden vs. Trump again, like, “Is there really only ONE person on each side who can do this?” Well, there’s only one Daily Show host who can do THIS.
2. Wow. That’s one solution.
1. I mean, if I’m not gonna rank myself #1, what kind of a marketer am I?
Close
THANK YOU to all of you for your support. You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you.
Love,
- Rajiv