The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. 217
October 2024: Happy Diwalloween
Welcome
Welcome to The Funny Indian Newsletter!
Meet Me Halfway
This month marked an inflection point in my life. Not only was October 2nd my Mom's (and Gandhi's) birthday, but it also represented the midway point for my time in Los Angeles:
I'd spent 3,350 days single and 3,350 days married. That's right: 9 years 63 days in bachelorhood and 9 years 63 days in marriage. (ChatGPT confirmed my math.)
Ironically, my marriage has flown by: I'd say these 9 years feel more like 4-5 years, while when I look back, it feels like I was alone in LA for 15 years. I'll take that as a good sign.
If you did that math for yourself, what comes to mind? You could divide it myriad ways: single/married, married/divorced, working/retired, nonparent/parent, hairy/bald... be creative!
Musings
A Comedian’s Take on Tony Hinchcliffe
𝘐'𝘥 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 "𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯," 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘔𝘚𝘎 𝘙𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘺.
Comedian Bill Burr once rightly dumped all over an alt comic whose name often appeared on flyers but did well mostly due to their insistence on performing during the hot part of the lineup, and that too, only on shows where audiences would agree with their POV. Burr didn't reveal the name of the comic, but I loved how he described a lot of left-leaning, clapter humor as a "comedy womb."
And right-wingers are kidding themselves if they think they haven't set up the same thing—the difference of course being that liberal comedy is at least funny some of the time.
Like most comics, I'm about as pro-free speech as it gets. But as I watched Hinchcliffe's set, "The Yada Yada" Seinfeld episode popped into my head. Jerry goes to confession to complain about Tim Whatley's conversion to Judaism for the jokes:
Father: And this offends you as a Jewish person.
Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian.
And that's the thing: Hinchcliffe's set sucked. I don't listen to the Kill Tony podcast. I had the opportunity to go while in Austin to see it live and I didn't. Btw, I don't dislike Joe Rogan: I don't love him but I do think his podcast provides a valuable service. I've watched only one full episode (Sanjay Gupta—big surprise). That said, I couldn't name one Joe Rogan joke. His hosting is far better than his standup. And that's fine. (Seinfeld's show is better than his standup.)
SOME roast comics are actually good at long-form standup. But very few. It's a different muscle: a sprint, not a marathon. The comics that crack me up at something like The Roast of Tom Brady are rarely the ones I want to watch for an entire hour.
I've abhorred this crew ever since Ari Shaffir randomly attacked Damienne Merlina, calling the disabled comic out for smelling bad. WTF? How is that even a joke?
So, when Tony delivered the line...
"I don’t know if you guys know this, but there’s literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now. I think it’s called Puerto Rico."
...I had the same thought: it's not a joke. There's no twist, no misdirection, no insight, no logic. It's low-hanging-fruit, lowest common denominator, Lisa Lampanelli style of comedy. It's not hard to spew out bigotry: Pretty much any comic could stand there and yell hacky stuff for an hour.
As Shane Gillis (whom I do like) said when he did his spot-on Donald Trump impression in his brilliant special Beautiful Dogs, "Not even a speech. Just mean shit-talk for 40 minutes."
Did Tony have some funny lines? Sure.
When he asked if any Latinos were in the crowd and heard some responses: "It's wide open. There are so many of them." That's funny.
"Everyday, the Democratic Party looks more like a P. Diddy party." Notwithstanding the old moniker, that's well-constructed and germane social commentary.
"By the way, if I commit suicide in three weeks, I didn't." Hilarious.
"Except when it comes to stock trading: then I listen to Nancy Pelosi." Good one.
And his whole bit about Trump's needing to find his shoes like a man who's leaving after a one-night stand? Solid.
But this was about one minute's worth of comedy in a 10-min set. And it was greatly overshadowed not only by that awful Puerto Rico joke — literally bad P.R. — but also by so many basic, open mic-type of flubs.
Tony Hinchcliffe (THC... which you'd have to be on to laugh at most of this) did the following:
He laughed at his own jokes.
He pandered to the crowd.
He did that thing comics do when they're bombing: they start saying stuff like, "It is absolutely wild times. It really, really is." And he did that a bunch.
He made excuses for why he wasn't doing well. "Normally, I don't follow the national anthem." Dude, the national anthem isn't hard to follow. At a charity event earlier this month, I had to follow a man who gave a 45-min speech about losing two of his kids. The room was literally in tears, and as I opened up, I said, "The program here now reads: 'Rajiv Satyal — Standup Comedy'..."
He told hacky jokes and recycled jokes:
Saying he and a Black man carved watermelons together? Dude.
Talking about rock-paper-scissors and then going, "You know the Palestines are going to throw 'rock' every time." Yeah, like I haven't heard that before.
He even did the Not-See/Nazi wordplay that I did in my 2012 special and that Hasan Minhaj did in his fantastic 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner speech.
Tony, I'm sorry you're from Ohio. And I'm glad you're gone from California. Trump still has a better than even chance of winning this election, but if he loses, that'll be the funniest thing you've ever done.
Click to read on my #Gruntled blog.
Updates
Watch
What an honor to chat with Andrew Yang.
Watch
Fun li’l limited run series comparing two things…
Watch
You might’ve noticed I’ve been releasing five new clips a week on Instagram. This one is at about half a million.
See
Future:
11/16: Akshay Patra West Florida Gala (Tampa, FL)
11/20: Cinnamon (Los Angeles, CA)
Past:
10/09 - 10/11: Society of Asian Scientists & Engineers Conference (Boston, MA)
10/12: Akshaya Patra Tri-State Gala (Newark, NJ)
10/15: South Asians Stand-Up for Kamala (Zoom) (pic)
10/20: Akshaya Patra Chicago Gala (Chicago, IL)
10/24: SABA-NJ Gala (Somerset, NJ)
Pretty cool to share a page with Stephen King and a stage with Kumail Nanjiani*.
Let’s win so we don’t return to… Misery.
Like
Fun attending the All That Glitters Diwali Ball in New York City on 10/12. Thanks to Hasan Minhaj for sticking me on the guest list.
My bald head makes another appearance in The New York Times.
Love
Naveen has been excited since May, when he instructed me to be a chicken and Mommy to be a duck.
Luckily, he changed his mind.
Oh, & don’t say he’s cute. As he keeps correcting us, he’s a SCARY GHOST!
Love
Shubh Deepavali! Thank you to Avani Modi Sarkar of Modi Toys, Mownika Chawla of Hava, and the one & only Payal Kadakia Pujji for hosting us. You know our 3-year-old had a blast when he's flashing that duckface.
Laugh
Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events. Enjoy.
5.
4.
3. Wow. That might be the best worst review I’ve ever read.
2.
1. I saw Spider-Man. And I’ve seen maybe three of the entire MCU flicks. And I love boobs. So, I’d say your safe.
Close
THANK YOU to all of you for your support. You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you.
Congratulations to (my) Los Angeles Dodgers on a spectacular #WorldSeries win!
And of course, RIP, Pete Rose.
Love,
- Rajiv