The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. 220

January 2025: Since the World's Been Turning

Jan 30, 2025

Welcome

Welcome to The Funny Indian Newsletter!

Happy New Year! Too late for that? Probably too late for that. You ever notice how we used to stop saying it around the third week of January but now we start saying it before the end of the last year?

Needless to say, it hasn’t been the happiest of beginnings to 2025 here in LA. Thanks so much to so many of you for your messages to check in on us. In short, we’re safe but several people we know very well lost their homes. I posted regular updates to the Good Book here and here.

Due to a glitch, the January Gruntled Newsletter went out later than planned, so apologies for the nearly back-to-back NLs.

The big news? I just releasted I AM INDIAN AMERICAN on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and TikTok!

funnyindian

A post shared by @funnyindian

Musings

𝘿𝙊𝙉'𝙏 𝙋𝘼𝙎𝙎 𝙈𝙀 𝘽𝙔, 𝘿𝙊𝙉'𝙏 𝙈𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝙈𝙀 𝘾𝙍𝙔, 𝘿𝙊𝙉'𝙏 𝙈𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝙈𝙀 𝘽𝙇𝙐𝙀

As 2025 begins, I feel the world has passed me by.

What normally happens is the music changes, the fashion changes.

Onstage, I've told this joke:

"𝘈𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘻𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦… 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 ‘90𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 ‘80𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 '40𝘴.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘺, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘐𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘐𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘺, 𝘐𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘢… 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 “𝘐” — 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.

𝘔𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘐𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘢 𝘪𝘯 1971 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 1985. 𝘞𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘔𝘰𝘮’𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 1968.

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, '𝘖𝘩, 𝘮𝘺 𝘎𝘰𝘥. 𝘐𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦!' 𝘞𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘸𝘢𝘨."

Just like that, most—not all—people's tastes freeze in their 30s. Many of my similarly-aged GenXers still listen to '90s hip-hop and grunge.

(Don't get me wrong: that stuff is empirically amazing; it's been suggested, I believe correctly, that 1991 was actually the best music boom in American history, even more so than 1955.)

Not mine. All the way through the end of the last decade, I kept up with pop music. I could tell you which track was Lil Uzi Vert’s vs. Playboi Carti’s.

“I’m with it. I’m hip. Tucka-tucka-tucka–tucka…”

The pandemic ended that because it removed all context. On various billboards across the country, I’ve seen the cheesy slogan below the call letters for classic rock stations:

“𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀.”

But that’s not wrong. Once I couldn’t attach a song to warming up before a set in another country or dancing at the club or picking up a Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy’s, I could no longer follow the when and where of music.

I never predicted the field that would blindside me would be politics. Politics. One of my first loves. Something I’ve followed closely since the early ’90s (around the greatest music explosion). Something many people who meet me (most recently Andrew Yang) think I should do for a living.

We jumped the shark when the barrier to entry became nothing. Any numbnuts with an internet connection who could have their own podcast. It used to be that we nerds were the ones who talked about this stuff. Sure, there have always been dillweeds who’ve opined on the topic, but they weren’t in charge.

The conspiracy theories about the LA Fires are merely the latest example, from both the Right and the Left. Well, as Billy Joel exclaimed in the appropriately named song “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” that I still have memorized...

“𝗥𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗮 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝘀, 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲!”

Of course, I’ve heard about these hypotheses only in conversation. After the election, I went on a total news diet. As of Jan 1, I’m listening only to NPR’s three-min hourly updates. Not every hour... just once daily.

The other day at a party, some friends got deep into a discussion about politics and I sat it out. I felt like Michael Jordan after his second retirement. Still the greatest basketball player on the planet, just not suiting up anymore. And if you think I just compared my political knowledge to MJ’s balling ability, well, let’s just say the ball went through the hoop.

Most people can’t keep up with the times because of the way kids dress these days or the music they kick these days. Like...

“How can they LISTEN to that?”

I’m stunned by this fact:

𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀.

“How can they TALK like that?”

So, when the Inauguration happened on Monday, you can bet I didn’t watch. Not the coronation of the living embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins. And not the Left’s maniacal and feckless reaction to it, offering solutions that nobody wanted and commented by people who got it all wrong.

If you wanna find me, I’ll be busy rearranging my Spotify playlist, shifting back-and-forth between Kendrick Lamar’s GNX and Joni Mitchell’s Blue.

Updates

See

Future:

02/02: The Funny Indian… Live in Houston (Houston, TX)

Buy Tickets and/or Send to Your Houston Friends!

Past:

12/28: Sharon & Yash’s Wedding Reception (Huntington Beach, CA)

Like

You know what's cool? Running into this fool again.

You know what's ice cold? That Dave Chappelle remembered me.

Full story coming soon… it was at Andew Yang’s 50th birthday party in NYC, a week before Dave hosted SNL.

For now, enjoy this Black & White.

Well, Black & Brown.

Laugh

Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events. Enjoy.

5. Took me a minute even to figure out what’s going on here… they’re braver than I.