The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. CLXVIII

September 2020: Interregnum

Welcome

Hey from LA. Here goes… enjoy. 😆


See

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Cincinnati is not the greatest city on Earth. I love Cincinnati because it’s mine.

I’ll bet your kid isn’t the valedictorian or starting QB on the varsity team or president of the chess club. OK, if you follow me, then maybe that last one. But do they have to be to earn your approval? You have the capacity to show unconditional love, right?

Then why can’t we as Americans feel the same way about America? Why do we have to claim it’s #1? What does that say about us if we have a pre-req? Is our patriotism conditional?

Why can’t we just love it because it’s ours? 🇺🇸💙

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(B)OLD PREDICTION

I'm now in the second half of my life. Around the age of 10, I somehow "knew" I'd live to be 88 - 89 years old.

Let's be optimistic and say it's 89. As of yesterday, I was exactly 44.5 years old. (Happy Half-Birthday to me!)

Now, it could happen anytime that year so this isn't 100% precise... and I SUPPOSE it might go down before that (though I'll be pretty pissed if it does)... but I'm calling right now the midpoint.

If I last longer, then we'll just refer to my 90s as overtime, which, let's face it, they are.

Will I be right? Guess you can check back in 2065.

#werehalfwaythere

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THE UNOFFICIAL END

Labor Day Weekend marks the Unofficial End of Summer. But technically, summer doesn't conclude this year till September 22. And in fact, we may have several weeks of warm weather left in the States.

If I could offer you one piece of advice (besides "Wear Sunscreen"), it would be this: go out and enjoy what's left of it.

[Click here to read more… or watch it here.]

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To look on the bright side... I’m really missing my yearly trip to India, so at least she came to us?

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2020 is Ruthless.

So cruel for RBG practically to have Bee Gees in her initials and not Stayin' Alive.

The day we long feared has arrived. As I watched the RGB doc, I kept thinking, "If she doesn't make it through this term, all of her good work could be wiped out." While I admire her work over the years, I am eternally pissed off that she did not retire whilst Obama was President. Rest in Peace, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but the amount of anxiety caused has taken a real toll on us.

Aaaaaaand on top of that, an earthquake. We are fine. G'night, for f's sake.

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How’d the Bradys figure out Zoom 50 years ago?

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Love

CONGRATULATIONS to my Mom on her 50th Anniversary of arriving in America!

From her post:

Down the memory lane...

September 3, 1970... A FIFTY YEAR JOURNEY...

Life is good... in the United States of America.

Great friendships throughout this amazing experience...

Allahabad, India.... M.A.... English Literature... Oxford, Ohio.... Student life begins at Miami University... M.A.T. ... Marriage to Vinay...Fillmore School... Elementary School Teaching.... Vinay to America.... Rajiv’s birth... Teaching continues... Twins’ birth... Rakesh & Vikas... Retirement from teaching... Back to Miami University... this time to teach Hindi... Bollywood Courses... Indian cooking courses.... Rajiv & Harsha’s wedding, Rakesh & John’s wedding, and life in the U.S.A. Continues...

The highlight is the friendships I formed... kind, loving, and generous.

Thanks to everyone who has made this journey beautiful.

Ask

Hey, History Buffs: Name one major event per century.

[Click here for some decent responses on Facebook… most people somehow didn’t understand the question, though one of my former teachers did. :)]

Ask

Is Van Halen a hair band? Why or why not? Show your work.

[Click here for some great responses on Facebook.]

Ask

Predict, with stunning accuracy, the day you will actually take the covid vaccine.

[Click here for some great responses on Facebook.]

Ask

Biden or Trump? We're exactly 7 weeks out. Let's have your predictions.

A one-word answer will suffice but if you feel like getting into it...

1. You have a million dollars and you have to bet one way or the other to double your money or lose it all: Biden or Trump. Which one do you pick?

2. Why do you think he will win?

3. When will we have the final result?

4. What's the electoral vote total late on Nov 3?

5. What will the electoral vote total end up being by the time the electors submit their counts on Dec 14?

6. Who will be the U.S. President on Jan 21, 2021?

[Click here for some great responses on Facebook.]

Ask

If LeBron gets #4 (1st superstar to lead 3 teams to championships), is he the GOAT?

[Click here for some great responses on Facebook.]

Laugh

Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events. 

5.

4.

3.

2. If you enjoyed the original Guitarist Falls Off Chair During Performance, here’s the remix.

1. Even though he goes after an Indian woman with my wife’s namesake, Uncle Roger DISGUSTED by this Egg Fried Rice Video killed me.

Close

THANK YOU to all of you for your support.  You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you.  If you think this may spark joy for your friends during this difficult time, please feel free to forward it along...

Big Ups, Mad Props, & Much Love,

- Rajiv (& Harsha)