The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. CLXXIV

March 2021: Out Like a Lamb

Welcome

Greetings from Los Angeles… still. It was a thrill to host a 600-person women’s event last Friday. Our game show, Desi Chain, continues to roll. And I got up on the Hollywood Laugh Factory stage for the first time in over a year. Enjoy.


Watch

Our new game show, Desi Chain: You can catch all episodes on our page: Facebook.com/DesiChain.


See

03/01: The Difference Makers on Radio Caravan (Houston, TX)

03/19: The She Suite Summit (Washington, D.C.) (pic)

03/26: Talking Funny with Raghu Adibhatla (FB Live)

03/27: #StopAsianHate @ Laugh Factory (Hollywood, CA)


Follow

Olive Garden is an amazing restaurant and I don't care if you judge me for this.

My wife just told me she doesn't like any Elton John songs. I called her a loser and walked out of the room. Click here to see who supported me and who supported her.


Read

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." — Henny Youngman

One of my first nights after moving to LA at the age of 30, some friends and I went out on the Hermosa Beach Pier. The last bar on the left (which sounds like a horror sequel) featured a bouncer who gave me a particularly hard time. I called him an asshole, slipped past him, and scampered into the joint.

Yes, I scampered. Scurried... scuttled... skipped... scooted... anything that makes me sound like a kid, because it was a pretty childish thing to do.

Click to finish.


Read

“A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.” — Joseph Stalin

If I'm being honest, I've never really recovered from the Columbine shooting. That day, I knew something broke inside me. It's never been fixed. And that was 22 years ago — nearly half of my time on Earth.

Click to finish.


Like

Do you know a lot about Hindi & Hinduism (& Sanskrit)?

I'm recording a video about the pronunciation of Kamala Harris' name.

We want to open with a note about the name "Kamala" and its origins.

Is this correct...?

——————————

Kamala (कमला) is the feminine form of the Sanskrit word for "lotus" or "pale red."

It is also an avatar of the Hindu goddess, Lakshmi.

——————————

If that is not correct, what's a better way of stating that?

(Just writing, "You're wrong" isn't as helpful as literally writing out how you would ensure that these are factual statements.)

It's important that we get this right.

Feel free to tag your Hindi- + Hindu-knowledgeable friends.

Click here for some great answers.


Like

ARCH ENEMY

I just had perhaps my biggest laugh of the entire quarantine. I was in line at the McDonald's drive-thru. In front of me, the driver was talking to the speaker, as one does. Except I heard, “Sir, you need to lower your window.”

Dude was trying to speak through the glass.

I couldn’t help but thinking this was a real-life Zoom call. This was the poor man’s version of, “You’re on Mute.”

Guess this is what happens when you don’t go out for an entire year. Can’t wait to see what other strange stuff awaits us as we venture back out into the world...


Love


Stump

Before the pandemic hit in 2020, the Happiest Place on Earth had closed unexpectedly only 3 times since opening in 1955. What is the Happiest Place on Earth and when did it close unexpectedly? Extra points if you can name the actual dates, but the events will do.

Name the 7 Dwarfs in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Name the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World.

Name the 8 American Presidents who died in office. Bonus: Name the years.


Ask

Which actor can appear on-screen and just make you laugh immediately?

Are there TV series you watched all the way through that you wouldn't watch again?

It's so hard to get out of ___.

Greatest battle scene in a TV/film? Please include link, if possible.

What I wouldn’t give right now to be ___.

Is it pronounced Cannes or Cannes or Cannes?


Laugh

Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events. 

5.  I actually think this is the funniest thing I’ve seen all year. But it’s absolutely horrible so I’m ranking it last to make myself feel slightly better.


4. A Scause for ApplauseSouth Park.


3. My brother does it again…


2. My friend #nailedit again…


1. The HBO documentary, Andre the Giant, was about as epic as this photo.


Close

THANK YOU to all of you for your support. You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you. If you think this may spark joy for your friends during this difficult time, please feel free to forward it along...

- Rajiv