The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. CLXXXVIII

May 2022: Memorial Day

Rajiv Satyal

May 28, 2022

Welcome

Welcome to the May Funny Indian Newsletter.

Musings

You can’t spell Formula without FML.

It shouldn't take a man to have to spell this out, but to the people out there who are telling women they can just breast feed their infants: it's not that simple.

It isn't discussed enough, but many women can't produce ("express") enough and it's not always easy to get the baby to "latch."

Oh, the things you learn as a new father.

Moreover, once a baby has transitioned from the breast to formula, the milk may not even be there anymore. So, to put this possibility in everyday parlance:

Once you go off the rack, you never go back.

Sick Again

WTF is going on? Is EVERYBODY sick right now? It seems all the people we know are ailing from something. As for myself, I've been sick since 5/3. More than three weeks of fatigue, coughing, and congestion — after FINALLY kicking that goddam sore throat. I've been to the doctor's office twice; I don't have covid though I know a ton of people who do right now. Though we've pushed past the pandemic to the endemic portion now, May 2022 has been the worst part of the whole thing. We're SO OVER all of this bullshit and it feels like there's no end in sight, with national cases spiking 55%. Two days ago, most of the shoppers at Trader Joe's in Toluca Lake rocked masks like some kind of cruel Halloween joke six months early. Best theory I've heard is, since we've avoided real life for two years, the bugs we're encountering are stronger than ever. I've lived most of the month pissed off all day, which is pretty funny to picture, actually. Hope everyone feels better soon. Well, not everyone. There are a lot of people I can't stand so the hell with them. But most of you, anyway. The last few sentences should give you an idea of my mood. Enjoy the rest of your spring.

Just Shoot Me

WTF's the point of covering mass shootings if we're not gonna do anything about them? If Sandy Hook didn't move the needle, what will? In fact, a significant percent of the population believes it was a government conspiracy. At this point — and in fact, a point many years ago — it's just depressing the shit out of the rest of us. There really is no purpose in dragging us all down if we're not going to take any action. It's insulting to our intelligence and more insulting to the victims. Just stop.

Just Sayin’

If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a Mother's Day song.

Updates

See

Future

06/18: Private Event (Los Angeles, CA)

06/26: Private Event (Los Angeles, CA)

Past

05/01: Akshaya Patra Foundation (Boston, MA)

05/13: Nital & Biren’s Sangeet (Long Beach, CA)

Listen

Did you know that P&G produced FOUR comedians, all in the '00s?

Come "hang out" with 4 standup comics today: pull this up during lunch or something. Of all the podcasts I've heard, this one ranks up there as one of the most insightful (and funny).

Of course, P&Gers will love some of the references. But if you've ever worked any kind of office job, I believe you'll strongly relate to much of what we discuss.

I don't think I've had this much fun on a podcast... so great to reconnect with Greg Warren, Josh Sneed, and Drew Tarvin.

Check out pgalums.com/podcast. Enjoy.

Love

I hopped on to co-host this podcast. Almanya actually asked me to direct her solo show. I was beyond honored but have a full plate and so I found her a director. Gonna go check it out here in LA on opening night.

Love

This. Kid.

Laugh

Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events.

5. Gotta love math and movies together.