VICE-President
I apologize that I said Trump was Hitler. That wasn’t right.
I apologize that I said Trump was Hitler. That wasn’t right.
He’s the Anti-Christ.
There’s a principle in comedy called heightening. At Upright Citizens Brigade, we followed a technique called the Harold. It’s basically a three-act structure. So, if your first act was playing a Mafia boss, you could heighten him to Hitler in the second, and then, in the last beat, make him the Anti-Christ. That’d be the highest. I mean, there’s nowhere to go after that.
(Well, I guess Satan but, in comedy, Dana Carvey as The Church Lady practically owns that word.)
Anyway, this three-act structure is the Harold Technique. And given my middle name, when I practiced it, it was the Harold & Kumar.
I’m here all week. Tip your wait staff. Try the veal.
And according to Matthew 10:26, “nothing is covered that shall not be revealed,” so let me say this:
I love Christians. Though I’m Hindu and was raised Hindu, I grew up around a lot of Christian love. When my parents immigrated here, most of their friends were Christian. As I’ve noted before, they were welcomed into Christian homes and treated with the love and respect taught in the Psalms. When I’d go to dentist offices, I’d look forward to reading those large, blue children’s books that depicted various Biblical stories. I attended Young Life meetings in high school and Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship meetings in college. I met regularly with a good friend who reviewed Scripture passages with me. Hell, during Christmas, my family would sometimes even attend church. (Maybe I should’ve written, “Heck.”)
When I asked one of my good friends why she was Christian, she gave one of the simplest and wisest replies I’d heard: Love. She said that Love was the central theme in the Christian faith in a way that it is not in other religions. She didn’t put down my religion or anyone else’s. To her, it was just that Love was the driving force behind Christianity.
And that’s what makes yesterday’s actions by our President so thoroughly disappointing, deplorable, and above all else, disturbing.
We all want to believe we are on the right side of history, on the right side of the fight. But what happened was an omission and an order that, together, are terrifying.
The Omission: For the first time, a sitting President, on International Holocaust Remembrance Day, refused to mention Jews.
The Order: Then later, at the Pentagram, er, Pentagon, he made good on a campaign pledge to effectively ban Muslims from coming to this country. (Well, I wouldn’t call that “made good.” More like he “made evil.”)
I’ve long wondered how many on the extreme right could hate Jews but love Israel. You know? That always seemed like a glaring contradiction. Then, a friend of mine explained it: there’s a large movement — certainly not all Christians so by no means take it this way — called Millenarianism. They are doing their best to prepare for the End of Days. In the prophecy, there needs to be a Jewish state. That is Israel. There shall arise an Anti-Christ and the forces of Good shall defeat the forces of Evil. It is believed that this Anti-Christ would hail from the Middle East. Many thought it was Saddam Hussein (love that he has a fan page, btw). Turned out that wasn’t the case. But hey.
At first, I thought maybe Trump thinks he’s St. Peter, deciding who gets into Heaven. But then it occurred to me that it’s worse than that.
“The Anti-Christ is generally regarded as a figure of evil that will falsely claim to be the Christ (Messiah).” That’s from Wikipedia, our modern-day Gospel.
So, let’s take a look at our President. Set aside your personal politics, if that’s even possible in this day and age. Scan through these principles and see if you think our President exhibits them…
The Seven Cardinal Virtues:
Chastity.
Temperance.
Charity.
Diligence.
Patience.
Kindness.
Humility.
(Nope.)⁷
How about the Seven Deadly Sins? (Listed in the order of Se7en. I love that film.)
Gluttony.
Greed.
Sloth.
Lust.
Pride.
Envy.
Wrath.
Hmm… sounds familiar. He’s medically obese. His avarice knows no bounds. He exhibits a wretched laziness about learning. He has committed adultery multiple times. His ego is the stuff of legend. He is clearly jealous of anyone who has more money than he does. And if you don’t think he has anger issues, you haven’t followed his Twitter feed.
I am offended by both his inaction and his action yesterday. He has betrayed the Christian principles in which he claims to believe. In fact, 78% of Americans are against the #MuslimBan. And religious groups, including Christian ones, have denounced it.
Beyond being the total opposite of What Would Jesus Do?, this is thoroughly un-American.
It is Hate, masquerading as Security.
This country and this religion are about Love All Serve All. (Well, that’s the Hard Rock Cafe, based on a Sai Baba devotee, but you get the idea.)
I’d call the fact that 81% of white Evangelical Christians voted for Trump a joke but it’s not funny. It’s ironic — not in a comedic way but in a tragic way. “Sad!”
I’m not taking sides in the abortion debate here, but it’s remarkable that to win this bloc all you have to do is say you’re pro-life.
The Christians I know care about and love ALL human life.
#AllLivesMatter?
Yeah, right.
“You’re meddling with powers you cannot possibly comprehend.”
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Rajiv Satyal is a comedian and social commentator. Born and raised in Cincinnati, he resides in Los Angeles.