The Funny Indian Newsletter, Vol. CLXII
March 2020: COVID-19
Welcome
Hello from Los Angeles. Felt appropriate to leave off the exclamation point.
I started creating a lot of content from home, mostly about the crazy coronavirus. I also got published in Travel + Leisure and appeared on a couple of podcasts.
This is the first monthly newsletter I’m sending to you via Substack. Enjoy.
Scoop
I started a series called Musings on the Coronavirus. Here they are:
Part I: Substack. Medium. Facebook.
Part II: Substack. Medium. Facebook.
Part III: Substack. Medium. Facebook.
Part IV: Substack. Medium. Facebook.
Part V: Substack. Medium. Facebook.
Scoop
Have you heard of Cameo? “Get personalized messages from your favorite celebrities.”
I’m on there as Mahatma Gandhi. Want a customized birthday (or other) message for somebody? Hire me — or at least click here for a laugh.
Watch
I did a Facebook Live of my standup about coronavirus. Click here to watch on Facebook.
My wife and I did a series of virtual dance parties… and honestly, I’d say we were pretty ahead of the curve… and I was behind her curves. Thanks to all of you for tuning in.
Read
Here’s my article in Travel + Leisure.
Read.
Read
What a pleasant surprise. A hometown shout-out.
Read
On Modi, Part I
Many of you have asked me to speak out about what's going on in India. Here's the thing…
In 2012, fellow comedian Azhar Usman & I took our Hindu-Muslim comedy show, Make Chai Not War, to 7 cities in India, courtesy of the U.S. Department of State. We brought another fellow comedian, Hari Kondabolu, along for the ride…
Read on Facebook. Read on Substack. Read on Medium.
Listen
Dear Asian Americans,
We live better than any group of people in the world in history. I think that we have the ability to hold onto our culture; I think that we have the ability to assimilate; and I think that with all the challenges that we face… every community faces challenges… we're at a point in time where it's better to be alive now… it doesn't seem like it sometimes… better than any time in history. We're living in, with all of its faults and flaws, the greatest nation on earth. And we're so privileged to have parents, generally that support us, if nothing else, siblings, camaraderie. And look at Jerry and Rajiv sitting here talking and having this conversation in the middle of the day when we probably should be working jobs as a lawyer and as a doctor, and we get to do this in Burbank while the sun is shining and do whatever we want. If that's not inspiration for you. I don't know what is.
Love,
Rajiv
Listen
Fun podcast about what comedians do 9-5, since you already know what we do 5-9.
Follow
Mike Bloomberg spent $676 million on American Samoa? That’s a lot of Girl Scouts Cookies!
My, things have changed in 24 hours. For example, I've never used "My" that way.
6' Apart or 6' Under. Your choice.
Like
Fortunately Forty-Four
THANK YOU to all of you for your birthday wishes. Every single one is hugely appreciated. The hundreds on social media and the four phone calls. Welcome to life in the 21st century, huh?
Picked this chick up at the club. Don’t tell my wife. Oh, wait. — at On The Record LV.
Like
Back to School
Actress Melanie Chandra and Comedian Rajiv Satyal take us back to a day in the life of two high school seniors in 1999...
Even though we’ve been friends for 13 years (the amount of time it takes to go K-12), it’s still a thrill to get a call from Melanie Chandra…
Read on Substack. Read on Medium.
#MelRajB2S
Like
Honored and thrilled to share that we raised nearly $80K in Chicagoland for Ignite Asha on March 7.
Not a bad way for me to spend my birthday... my last gig for months.
Click here to learn more and contribute.
Like
On Mayor Pete
Pete dropped out. As many of you know, I twisted and turned and wrestled and grappled with whom to endorse in the Democratic Primary. Every one of them has major liabilities, but in the end, I felt Pete Buttigieg was the best one to carry us forward.
Like
Bloomberg, Biden, Bernie
“Beamer, Benz, or Bentley.” - Lloyd Banks, 2010.
As we vote today here in California, I'm thinking back to 1989. 7th grade. Science Class. Fairfield Middle School. Southwest Ohio. To help us learn more about the topic of electricity, our teacher, Mr. Lapp, assigned us the task of creating a circuit board. The most common way to do this was to use a battery and light up a lightbulb. But really, the easiest way was to start sometime before the night before it was due…
Like
And after all that, I voted for Mike Bloomberg. 🇺🇸— at U.S. Post Office.
Ask
Who are your top essential voices today? When something happens, to whom do you find yourself turning? Like, you just can't wait to get this person's take. Who comes to mind? It doesn't have to be front-page news only. Anyone in the social realm: politics, economics, business, entertainment, sports, beauty, fashion, comedy, culture, self-help, life advice, philosophy, etc. I'm looking for true influencers here, not just people who call themselves influencers. Like, you may not always 100% agree, but you sincerely care what this person is saying. Thanks, All.
I think my top nine social commentators all have at least one foot in the political realm: Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, Scott Galloway, Jonathan Haidt, Chris Hedges, Bill Maher, Chris Rock, Andrew Sullivan, and Fareed Zakaria. Yes, I'm aware those are all cis-gendered males over the age of 50. But at least one is gay, two are black, and one is Indian/Muslim? 🤷🏾♂️ Working on getting some diverse POVs in the mix... and not only identity-diverse but viewpoint-diverse.
Click to read some great responses on Facebook.
Laugh
Since this is a FUNNY Indian Newsletter, I present here the 5 funny things that I saw, heard, wrote, or remembered for the last month... otherwise known as FIVE - Funny Indian's V Events.
I’m gathering all of the funniest coronavirus material I’ve seen. For now, here’s some related and not.
5. Kabir Chopra created a super watchable series about dating, Swiped to Death.
4. Rita Wilson slays that ’90s jam.
3. The Property Brothers team up with the Sklar Brothers.
2. Truer word was never spoken, boy.
1. And from hip-hop to hippos. They won’t break a hip because they are hip.
Close
THANK YOU to all of you for your support. You are my true core of fans — I couldn't do this without you. If you think your friends would enjoy this, please forward it along...
Big Ups, Mad Props, & Much Love,
- Rajiv
